kageryu

On December 7th My father passed away, leaving me with a world of financial and legal issues to address. He has been very ill for the past 2 years, but was unwilling to take steps on many matters to prepare. He lived in another state and my vehicle could not make the trip. A woman I had thought to be a friend had offered, multiple times, to go with me, take her vehicle, and be there for me emotionally and help me try to get some of my father's estate in order. Her brother and her were my last local friends, and her brother is one of my Best friends. So I accepted the offer - especially as until I got to town my father's remains would be unclaimed and no funeral arrangements could be made. After leaving 8 and a half hours late due to delays on her part, we drove through the night (12 hours in some whiteout conditions...about 4 hours worth) with me doing the majority of the driving. When we arrived it was 7:30am, and shortly after entering my father's house she completely went schizophrenic. My father was a smoker, and it was a smoking house, my father was also a hoarder, and had let many rooms go uncleaned for many years - all of this she was made aware of before we left by myself and her brother who has been there before. She herself lives in a house with hoarders that is cluttered, unkempt, and with spoiled food in many rooms... so I at least expected some understanding and compassion... NO.
She launched into a 3+ hour verbal assault that was insulting and abusive insisting how she couldn't stay in the house, how dirty it was, went off on how toxic a person I am and how I intimidate and scare her and trigger her anxiety, attacked the fact I am low income and disabled - when she herself is no-income living off her parents. Just completely went off the deep end. I tried to offer to put her up in an inn or local hotel, and that wasn't good enough. I asked her to let me get a couple hours sleep and secure my fathers remains then I'd hire cleaners for one of the rooms, still not good enough. I offered to find her local accommodations, not good enough - she just kept berating and insulting me, my deceased father, my father's house, my low income...it was all I could do not to scream at her and yell at her because I already suffer PTSD, Clinical Depression, and Severe Anxiety and I was there to Bury my father FFS! When it was clear she was going to abandon me without transportation I began taking steps to try to get my father's station wagon running, which hadn't moved in over 8 months and I already knew had a dead battery. She then got furious with me for not sitting down and letting her insult me and berate me - stating how I was a horrible person for not showing understanding for her anxiety...really? She agreed to at least take me to get jumper cables to try to start the wagon and get it to the garage on it's own power - then turned the car ride into just continued verbal abuse and began rearranging and fabricating facts to try to blame me for her abandoning me as she was about to, claiming I withheld facts, and didn't offer alternatives. I couldn't take anymore and left the vehicle when we were stopped at a red light. I haven't seen her since, but she did send a text I found offensive later that evening - apologizing for the timing of her ending our friendship!
Instead of securing remains and making funeral arrangements that day, or sleeping I spent all day getting a car towed, and waiting for it to be repaired - which cost extra for rush service so I would have it the next day. When I returned home and tried to respond to her text she had already blocked my phone number, deleted and blocked me on Facebook, and blocked my email. I have since heard directly she has exaggerated the state of my fathers house to her family, including her brother trying to compare it to the house from silent hill, with cracked and peeling paint, mounds of debris, live animals and insects, etc... I do not know the specifics but know she has lied to her family about what transpired and is claiming I took some action or did some thing she found outrageous and refused to tolerate. She has made hateful and vulgar posts about me on social media, fabricated facts, and lied to multiple people - she is directing such hostility and venom toward me that I absolutely do not deserve! I was nothing but a good friend to her - I am the one who was wronged, insulted, verbally abused, left 500 miles from home without transportation, and caused to incur significant financial expenses I can not afford.
In the wake of my father's death I could use all the friends I can get - instead one I was counting on left me holding the bag and is going out of her way to add to my grief and loss.
She is a complete and total hypocrite, Social Justice Warrior, that screams offense at everything and everyone and does not care how her words or actions actually offend or cause real harm to people. She will lie, fabricate, and distort reality to suit her narrative and keep herself in the role of victim even while being the instigator standing on the rock spewing hate into the world. I so hate people like this.  She further got mad at me for seeking third party mitigation against her to offset the expenses she caused me - and denied any and all responsibility.  She also further went out of her way through December, January, and February to create as much drama over events as possible, causing serious issue with another friend of mine - and vilifying me to her family claiming to be afraid of me even though I did nothing to her!  When I filed for mitigation through the courts she went as far as to threaten harassment charges if I pursued it - that's not how harassment works!  She is now pissed at me for not treating her like a friend when she left me no choice but to go through the courts.  A completely unreasonable and delusional human being.  It is clear to me now we can never be friends again, or even civil again as things stand - unless she were to have a complete reversal of her selfish outlook.  Part of me still sometimes hopes she will realize the harm she has done and try to make things right - but this would require her to own what she did and seek me out to offer and apology - even then I don't know to what ends.  Sometimes I miss the friendship I thought we had and it still hurts - but given all of this the rest of me doubts we were ever really friends at all.  Rather than simply apologize when it all started and help me offset costs she caused me, she threw away a multi-year friendship and vilified me.

This is exactly why I have become as bitter and jaded as I am, and make little effort to find friends anymore. This is the caliber of so many of the people I have run into in Mahoning County. Fake, fair-weather Friends, looking for a leg-up on you when they can hurt you and cause the most harm.  I am tired of being hurt by people I come to care about who obviously do not care about me.  As things stand now (in May with this re-edit) the financial side of it is settled - but it was never about the money.