For those who care to know why, it started about this time last year. My best, and essentially last, good friend took a series of actions that I see as a betrayal of trust and friendship. Lies were told, manipulations were involved by himself and another, specifically exploiting my depression and social uneasiness to cause me a great deal of grief and emotional pain. In the end, my friendship was not only not worth an apology, but wasn't worth acknowledging what had transpired. Despite numerous attempts to try to talk to the individual involved, he has gone out of his way to escalate the situation between us, and has since exploited other legal issues from my past to cause me more financial and legal problems.

All of this has left me feeling extremely betrayed, and deeply hurt. I do not now, nor will I likely ever know why he chose to do these things, and why my friendship meant so little. I am not OK with this, and never will be, and am having trouble accepting it all.

Why? In the end, I cared a great deal about my friendship with him. He is not the first friend I have trusted to betray me so viciously. However, I now consider a perpetually repeating cycle of the world regardless of what I do, and this was one time too many. It has left me so bitter, hate filled, and saddened.

Combined with my arthritis, carpal tunnel, and nerve damage, it makes the thought of drawing unbearable. I simply do not feel the art inside me much anymore. I have no one really to share my ideas with, to inspire me, or to draw motivation from, and not only do I not see it changing really, I do not feel I can ever trust anyone again.

The world has broken me...I hope it is happy with it's victory.
What minute achievments I make now will never be even a shadow of what I was once capable of, nor envisioned.